Pop chinese ,现在的你适合恋爱吗？

现在的你适合恋爱吗？

12 Reasons Why A Relationship Might Not Be The Right Move For You Right Now

你现在可能不适合谈恋爱的12个理由

Sometimes it may feel like everyone but you is in a successful relationship. I promise you, you are not alone. Whether you are looking for love or are in a relationship but worry they may not be “the one”, it could be the times not right for you to be in a relationship.

有时似乎每个人都拥有一段成功的恋情，而你却例外。我向你保证，你并不是唯一的一个。无论你是在寻找真爱，还是正在发展一段恋情，却担忧对方并不是正确的人选，只能说明现在不是你恋爱的好时机。

Here are 12 reasons why a relationship might not be the best move for you right now.

或许现在发展恋情对你来说并不是最明智的选择。下面是12个可能的原因。

1. You are a hot mess and need a savior.

你的生活一团糟，需要救星。

You feel a void in your life and you want it filled. You love the excitement you feel at the beginning of a relationship and convince yourself you will be happy once you’re in a relationship.

你觉得生活空虚，想要填满。你喜欢恋爱之初感受到的激情，说服自己一旦开始一段恋情你会觉得快乐。

The initial feelings in a relationship are short lived. Everything is shiny and new but once the newness wears off you are often left with holes in your apple pie sky.

一段恋情最初的感觉是短暂的。一切都散发着耀眼的光芒，但是，一旦新鲜感消失，剩下的只是像苹果派中的空洞一样的无尽空虚。

Trying to fill a void in yourself with another person makes you vulnerable to getting involved with the wrong person. The only way you can fill a void in yourself is through fulfilling your own happiness.

通过他人来弥补内心的空虚会让你与错误的人纠缠在一起。填满内心空虚的唯一方法是自己实现快乐。

Work on finding things you enjoy doing without a partner. Once you can fill your own void, you will be ready for a relationship.

在没有伴侣的情况下寻找你喜欢做的事情。一旦你能够填满内心的空虚，你就做好了开始一段恋情的准备。

2. You are addicted to being the hero.

沉溺于成为英雄的感觉。

You get involved with people who have issues. Maybe they are fresh out of a breakup or have other problems such as drugs or alcohol.
In the beginning, they rely on you and appreciate you. Your self-worth inflates with the attention. As they get better, they need you less and less and you begin to feel used.

你和有问题的人纠缠在一起。或许他们刚刚经历分手，或者有嗑药或酗酒等其他问题。最初，他们依赖你，赞赏你。你的自我价值感在他们的关注下不断膨胀。当他们好转的时候就越来越不需要你，你会开始觉得自己被利用了。

Self-worth begins and ends within you. Relying on others for your worth puts you at risk of co-dependency. For a relationship to work, both you and your partner need to be emotionally healthy.

自我价值感开始并终止于你的内心。依赖他人来体现你的价值会让你面临关怀强迫症的风险。要让一段恋情发展，你和伴侣的情感都必须是健康的。

3. You have a habit of picking people who are wrong for you.

你习惯选择错误的人。

You pick the wrong type of people to get involved with. Your friends warn you but you assure them you know best. It’s different with you because you are the one that can change the person your friends are warning you about.

你习惯选择错误的人交往。你的朋友警告过你，但是你向他们保证，你知道怎样是最好的。你与众不同，因为你可以改变你的朋友让你警惕的人。

You won’t change them. Look within yourself to better understand why your choices are risky. It could be you’re subconsciously not ready for a real relationship so you pick people that will sabotage any chance of a lasting romance.

你是不可能改变他们的。审视一下自己的内心，了解一下为何你的选择很有风险。可能是因为你潜意识里没有准备好发展一段恋情，所以你选择的人总是会破坏恋情持久的可能性。

4. You still put pins in a voodoo doll that has a remarkable resemblance to your ex.

代表前任的巫毒娃娃上仍然插着大头针。

If you’re still fuming about something someone else did to you, it is not a good time to be in a new relationship.

如果你仍然因为其他人对你做的事而怒火冲天，说明现在不是发展新恋情的好时机。

Old lovers must remain in the past for a new love to have a chance. Not only will a new love get tired of hearing how you were wronged, but you are at risk of punishing your new love for something an old love did to you.

旧的恋人必须成为过去，新的恋情才有机会。新的恋人不仅会厌倦于听你讲述自己如何被错误地对待，你自己也可能会因旧爱做的事而惩罚新欢。

Fresh love means fresh start. You have to forgive an old flame and let it go before you can move forward. If you are still holding a grudge, it is not the time to be in a relationship.

新的恋情意味着新的开始。你必须原谅前任以前的错误，让这段恋情成为过去，你才能继续前进。如果你仍然怀恨在心，说明不是发展恋情的好时机。

5. You think you like him and her.

你怀疑自己的性向。

If you are questioning your sexual orientation you need to be honest with yourself before you can be in a relationship. Trying to be in a relationship because you are supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex is not only harmful to you but it will hurt your partner.

如果你质疑自己的性向，发展一段恋情之前必须对自己坦诚。觉得应该被异性吸引而发展一段恋情不仅对你自己有害，也会伤害你的伴侣。

Happiness and fulfillment of life happens when you are true to your heart. You cannot be happy pretending to be someone you are not and a partner will always feel like something is missing.

当你真实地面对内心时，生活中的快乐和满足就会随之而来。假扮成别人不会让你快乐，你的伴侣也因此总是会感到失去了某些东西。

6. Your clothes still smell like your ex.

衣服仍然有前任的味道。

If the scent of your ex is still lingering it is probably too soon to begin a new relationship. Put space between old and new relationships so that you can be emotionally healthy to start something new.

如果前任的味道仍然萦绕不去，开始一段新的恋情可能为时过早。旧的恋情和和新的恋情之间隔开一段时间，这样你的情感才是健康的，才能开始新的感情。

If you were with someone for a long time then it will take time to get to know yourself again. Starting a new relationship before you understand who you are is a bad idea.

如果你曾和某人谈恋爱很长时间，那么你将需要时间来重新了解自己。在了解自己之前就匆忙开始一段新的恋情并不是好主意。

If you’re already in a relationship and have doubts, it may be time to take a break until you sort out what you really want out of life and a relationship.

如果你已经开始一段感情，却心存疑问，可能是时候暂时分开一下了，直到你弄清楚自己在生活和恋情中真正想要的是什么。

7. You’re not ready to tell a new friend how you accidentally spent a weekend in jail for indecent exposure when you were drunk and peed on the sidewalk.

你没有做好准备告诉你的新朋友，你曾经醉酒后在人行道上小便，因不雅暴露而被意外拘留一个月。

If you’re not ready to fully disclose things about your life then you are probably not ready for a relationship. Relationships are built on trust and secrets hurt both you and your partner in the long run.

如果你没有做好准备充分坦白生活中的每件事，说明你可能没有准备好开始一段感情。恋情是建立在信任的基础上的，久而久之，秘密会伤害你和你的恋人。

That doesn’t mean that you should be an open book before you know if you have a real connection with someone. Too much too soon can backfire.

这并不意味着在你不确定是否会和某人发展真正的感情之前就完全向对方敞开心扉。过早过多地坦白会事与愿违。

The right time for disclosure is when both you and your partner express an interest in exploring the possibilities of a relationship. If you are already in a relationship and have things you are keeping secret it’s time to fess up. If you’re not ready, it may be time to break away until you are ready.

披露的最佳时机是你和对方都有兴趣探索发展恋情的可能性的时候。如果你已经开始了恋情，却仍然对某些事件保密，是时候坦白了。如果你没有做好准备，或许是时候分手了，直到你做好准备。

8. You have wanderlust and can’t imagine another winter in this sleepy town.

你有流浪癖，不知明日身在何处。

Maybe you feel a calling for new scenery or maybe a job transfer is on the horizon. If there is a possibility you may move in the next few years you should wait to have a relationship.

或许你想去饱览各地风光，或许即将更换工作。如果未来几年你有可能离开这里，你应该等待，而不是仓促发展恋情。

If you’re in a relationship and your partner does not express excitement over the possibility of a move, you should have a serious discussion about your future. If you are not on the same page, cutting ties may be the best case scenario.

如果你已经在谈恋爱，而你的恋人并未表现出对迁居的兴奋，你们应该认真讨论一下未来了。如果你们意见不一，分手或许是最好的选择。

9. Your theme song is I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry.

你的主题曲是“我很寂寞，我哭了。”

Many people jump into a relationship because they don’t like being alone. This is no reason to start a relationship or to remain in one that isn’t right. Being in a relationship does not make a happier life and sometimes it does just the opposite. It’s important to love when you are ready, not because you are alone.

许多人匆忙开始一段恋情是因为他们不喜欢孤单。这并不是开始一段恋情或维持错误恋情的理由。恋爱不一定会让你的生活更快乐，有时适得其反。做好准备的时候再恋爱，而不是孤独的时候，这很重要。

Lonely people tend to justify relationships that are not healthy for them or their partner.

孤独的人倾向于将对自己和恋人不健康的恋情合理化。

10. You’re five year plan includes working your way from your cubicle to the penthouse.

你的五年计划包括从小隔间搬到豪华公寓。

Relationships are a full time job. If you are on a career fast track, realistically you may not have time for a relationship. Getting involved before you are ready will cause conflict within yourself and within your relationship.

恋爱是一项全职工作。如果你的事业正在全速上升期，或许你没有时间发展恋情。尚未做好准备就发展恋情会导致你的事业和恋情出现冲突。

Wait until you have time to spend on a relationship before diving into one. Things will happen the way they are supposed to and you will know when the time is right.

在开始一段恋情之前耐心等待，直到你有时间谈恋爱。事情自然会水到渠成。当时机来临时，你会知道的。

11. You want to keep your cake and eat it too.

你想鱼和熊掌兼得。

If you are not ready to fully commit heart and soul to one person it’s not time. Too often we are not over past loves or are interested in two people at the same time.

如果你没有准备好全身心地对待一个人，说明时机还不对。大多情况下，我们还没有放下过去的恋情，或者同时对两个人感兴趣。

If you are conflicted and still have feelings for someone, you should consider dating and developing friendships, but wait until you have resolved the conflicts in your heart before you commit to anyone. Your indecisiveness should not be a reason to break another’s heart.

如果你很矛盾，仍然对某人有感觉，你应该考虑约会并发展友情，但是在向任何一个人许下承诺之前应该先解决内心的矛盾。你的犹豫不决不应该成为使另一个人伤心的理由。

12. You want your Facebook status to read something other than “it’s complicated”.

你希望在个人网页签名上炫耀一下。

All of your friends have found “the one” and you haven’t. This can make you feel pressured to find someone so you don’t feel like an outcast.

你的所有朋友都找到了另一半，而你却还没有。这会让你感到压力，也想找一个人，你不想让自己看上去很另类。

Many times, this sets up conditions for an unhealthy relationship by trying too hard to be in that relationship. It can also scare away someone you really care about.

许多情况下，这为不健康的恋情创造了条件，因为你太急着发展一段恋情了。这也会吓走你真正在乎的人。

You should be with someone because you enjoy being with that person. If you try too hard to have a relationship, your new partner may feel like you’re in it for the wrong reasons and bolt.

你和某人谈恋爱应该是因为喜欢和他在一起。如果你刻意为之，你的新伴侣会觉得你动机不纯。

Relationships are hard work. If you are not in a place where you are emotionally secure in yourself and have the time to spend on a relationship it is probably not the right time in your life to be in one. Timing is everything and just because the time is not right at the moment, doesn’t mean it will always be that way.

恋爱是一项艰苦的工作。如果你的情感不够稳定，如果你没有时间谈恋爱，可能时机还未到来。时机就是一切，只是因为现在不是正确的时机，但并不代表永远都是这样。

When the time is right, the relationship will find you.

当时机正确时，恋情会从天而降。